Believe me, I am here. If people only knew what has been going on in my world--no drama, some stress, much security & love. All that is important, I have. Never forget where you came from!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Check up
Believe me, I am here. If people only knew what has been going on in my world--no drama, some stress, much security & love. All that is important, I have. Never forget where you came from!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I'm back in
All I wanna do is just check in again--let you know that I am alive--Thankfully! How on earth did two months just blank, don't know--because I was on a roll in my blogging & then I fell off completely...September was rough with just me having health challenges, etc; but I feel better now, so let's see what we can do.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
thee UTMOST
Am I ready to elaborate? Because someone recently asked, 'How do you like being a mommy?' In short, I am thankful for what God has given me/being able to have two lovely daughters by the man of my dreams, though this is the hardest "job" I have ever had (and you can take that to the bank):
Take for instance this morning: Although I was wearing a rist-cast thing on my left hand and arm (went to urgent care last night--I fell last Saturday), while my husband was preparing to go to work, I took a rushed shower (putting a plastic bag over my arm)...I stepped out of the bathroom with my towel barely on & the plastic thing still rubberbanded to my arm (so it wouldn't get wet)...because I had to discipline my oldest daughter for throwing a big tantrum--I wasn't even dressed yet & only had one arm to do all that I was trying to do. After their breakfast, I was wiping down the table & my youngest daughter had done a bowel movement in her diaper & decided she did not need it on anymore. Well, I was busy wiping down the table & could see her in my line of view, but did not witness her taking off her diaper and putting her hands in the poop and smearing it on the thing that holds our DVDs--the window was smeared with poop and some got on the floor (though fortunately, it was a pretty clean poop that mostly stayed in the diaper). 'That's it', I said to myself. And I proceeded to quickly dismantle my hand brace (I really liked having it on, because it makes my rist feel better). I had to grab her & carry her to the tub and eventually clean up the poop from the door on the DVD thing & the bathroom door, etc; as well as washing out the cloth diaper outside (once she took a nap)...then later I had to shower quickly again. But in between that, I took the girls for a walk and gave them lunch.
Now that they are napping, I am sitting down to write this, but I need to actually take a moment to mentally & spiritually regroup. The discipling of my 2.5 year old is really draining me. I know I shouldn't perceive it that way, because the Bible talks about if you love your child, you will discipline her. So my attitude should be hopeful and willing. Currently, I just have been feeling quite "SPREAD"--that is my word for when I am spent--like when you spread butter on a piece of toast...You are spread.
And even as I think about it, I have yet to view myself as a mommy--it has only been just a few months ago (like maybe since June), that my oldest daughter started saying "Mommy" and then calling me "Mommy". My youngest daughter recognized me verbally since she was about 10 months and she'll be one year this Monday.
So this motherhood deal is still new and often I am overwhelmed with the responsibility it brings--I really want to enjoy it. My attitude is not right. I am looking up and the time just flew by, as I know I will be starting to work part time soon and there were still so many things I wanted to do with them that I haven't done. Like do more sit-down activities & lessons: like word and picture-word cards, coloring, learning how to spell letters, sign language for the baby, language learning (Japanese & French & Spanish), crafts (well today we are going to make some birthday cards for people--including baby sister), and most importantly Bible lessons--that needs to be in the morning though. Then there's music, dance, gym time, lessons on computer, swimming, that Hollywood Bowl music-craft thing I missed for two years in a row. Huh. I want to do a lot. Perhaps next year, when they are both more on the same schedules--the baby always likes to nap from 11A-1P...sometimes I make her wait so that they both go down together--so I can take a break or get other stuff done.
Once again, it starts with me.
I have mentioned before that I see they are gurly girlz and love jewelry and dresses and headbands. The baby sits still to have her hair done & combed--which I appreciate. But, I have a waaaaaayz to go with my own femininity. I desire to be their example. This is one of the hardest parts about my motherhood is being the very person I want them to be: loving, sharing, giving, beautiful on the inside and then out. Hmmm. So my friend, in answer to your question, I can't say that I love the role of what mommy's do, but I love being a mommy to them. I love my daughters so much and though I don't like dealing with the discipling and multi-tasking and when they get sick & I end up worrying about their health (essentially all the work that goes into it), I love them. So putting myself aside, they are the blessings--I am only striving to live up to this role that God has blessed me with and to have the right heart and a whole-heart behind doing what I do and doing it well for Him and His glory.
Take for instance this morning: Although I was wearing a rist-cast thing on my left hand and arm (went to urgent care last night--I fell last Saturday), while my husband was preparing to go to work, I took a rushed shower (putting a plastic bag over my arm)...I stepped out of the bathroom with my towel barely on & the plastic thing still rubberbanded to my arm (so it wouldn't get wet)...because I had to discipline my oldest daughter for throwing a big tantrum--I wasn't even dressed yet & only had one arm to do all that I was trying to do. After their breakfast, I was wiping down the table & my youngest daughter had done a bowel movement in her diaper & decided she did not need it on anymore. Well, I was busy wiping down the table & could see her in my line of view, but did not witness her taking off her diaper and putting her hands in the poop and smearing it on the thing that holds our DVDs--the window was smeared with poop and some got on the floor (though fortunately, it was a pretty clean poop that mostly stayed in the diaper). 'That's it', I said to myself. And I proceeded to quickly dismantle my hand brace (I really liked having it on, because it makes my rist feel better). I had to grab her & carry her to the tub and eventually clean up the poop from the door on the DVD thing & the bathroom door, etc; as well as washing out the cloth diaper outside (once she took a nap)...then later I had to shower quickly again. But in between that, I took the girls for a walk and gave them lunch.
Now that they are napping, I am sitting down to write this, but I need to actually take a moment to mentally & spiritually regroup. The discipling of my 2.5 year old is really draining me. I know I shouldn't perceive it that way, because the Bible talks about if you love your child, you will discipline her. So my attitude should be hopeful and willing. Currently, I just have been feeling quite "SPREAD"--that is my word for when I am spent--like when you spread butter on a piece of toast...You are spread.
And even as I think about it, I have yet to view myself as a mommy--it has only been just a few months ago (like maybe since June), that my oldest daughter started saying "Mommy" and then calling me "Mommy". My youngest daughter recognized me verbally since she was about 10 months and she'll be one year this Monday.
So this motherhood deal is still new and often I am overwhelmed with the responsibility it brings--I really want to enjoy it. My attitude is not right. I am looking up and the time just flew by, as I know I will be starting to work part time soon and there were still so many things I wanted to do with them that I haven't done. Like do more sit-down activities & lessons: like word and picture-word cards, coloring, learning how to spell letters, sign language for the baby, language learning (Japanese & French & Spanish), crafts (well today we are going to make some birthday cards for people--including baby sister), and most importantly Bible lessons--that needs to be in the morning though. Then there's music, dance, gym time, lessons on computer, swimming, that Hollywood Bowl music-craft thing I missed for two years in a row. Huh. I want to do a lot. Perhaps next year, when they are both more on the same schedules--the baby always likes to nap from 11A-1P...sometimes I make her wait so that they both go down together--so I can take a break or get other stuff done.
Once again, it starts with me.
I have mentioned before that I see they are gurly girlz and love jewelry and dresses and headbands. The baby sits still to have her hair done & combed--which I appreciate. But, I have a waaaaaayz to go with my own femininity. I desire to be their example. This is one of the hardest parts about my motherhood is being the very person I want them to be: loving, sharing, giving, beautiful on the inside and then out. Hmmm. So my friend, in answer to your question, I can't say that I love the role of what mommy's do, but I love being a mommy to them. I love my daughters so much and though I don't like dealing with the discipling and multi-tasking and when they get sick & I end up worrying about their health (essentially all the work that goes into it), I love them. So putting myself aside, they are the blessings--I am only striving to live up to this role that God has blessed me with and to have the right heart and a whole-heart behind doing what I do and doing it well for Him and His glory.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Shieldmaidens in the battlefield
Last Friday, it seemed as if I was running away, but I wasn't. Just that we were all under the weather (hubby, me & the girls) and I was burnt out. Most people don't realize that sahms get burned out too. But my husband was supportive and encouraged me to go to burke williams--but the one in Pasadena because that is closer to us than the one in Torrance. But I had never been to the one in Torrance, so I was curious. So I went to Torrance. And on my way there, I heard, "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benetar. I LOVE that song--that song is so theme for me. It is not always easy, and that is the kind of love I give lately: like a servant all day long & rarely getting any time for myself. Even at a regular day job, you get an hour break! But that is my fault, I DO need to take better care of myself and figure out how to make time for me in the midst of the multi-tasking. So, I really went for a pedicure--they do such a great job (and I tried to remove the chipped paint from my toes from an earlier pedicure from there, but it would not come off!!!); then I also got an express facial, which ended up being the best part/she was really good! But my time there was a little rushed for me (since I still needed to grab a bite after and head home, an hour away). All and all, I prefer the Pasadena one. There was some hype about the Torrance one, since it is one of the newest ones...
Anyway, "Love is a Battlefield" makes me think of being a warrior and then I just learned about that Javelin thrower, Leryn Franco...I want my daughters to grow up to be like her: strong, athletic--but beautiful and feminine--but more than that, com/passionate & heartsy-full of love for other people. More importantly its their hearts that I hope to watch blossom like flowers--like Love is a Battlefield...
Anyway, "Love is a Battlefield" makes me think of being a warrior and then I just learned about that Javelin thrower, Leryn Franco...I want my daughters to grow up to be like her: strong, athletic--but beautiful and feminine--but more than that, com/passionate & heartsy-full of love for other people. More importantly its their hearts that I hope to watch blossom like flowers--like Love is a Battlefield...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monopoly
The hard part about being a one company monopoly is this--look what they just sent us in the mail?:
"What if I don't agree to these terms and conditions?" You have until October 1, 2008 to review the Agreement and decide whether or not you wish to continue your service with AT&T. If you continue with your AT&T services after that date, you will be deemed to have agreed to the terms and conditions contained in the Agreement. If you do not agree with all the terms and conditions of the enclosed Agreement, you must contact us at _____ not later that October 1, 2008, to disconnect your service(s).
So its like, if you don't want to go along with us, then you can go somewhere else/like, if you aren't with us, then you can just hit the road jack-as if there was anywhere else we can go. Maybe that is why it is called "Jack in the box", because he is feeling jacked up because he hit-the-road-jack and he had no where to go, so now he is in a (cardboard) box, all homeless.
LOL, they said, "If you do not agree with all the terms and conditions of the enclosed Agreement" LOL!!!!! HA!!! Does that even make sense? If you do not agree with the agreement. So funny, I am LOL!
Sounds a little like slavery: 'if you want to keep y/OUR service, then you are just going to have to agree with our=AT&T's agreement (that they made by themselves, for themselves)...It is not OUR agreement, but the agreement that AT&T said that we are to agree about.' If you want to keep your job, then you better just do as I say!
This is why when there is only one service & one company, ...is not a good thing. No Monopoly for me. Anti-greed, anti-big brother & anti-control, for me!!!
Variety & free-choice goes a long way. You know I have to tie it to God, because in my perspective and based on what the Bible says, He gives us free-will and free-choices to decide whether or not we want to live for him: No force, though He is not a force to reckon with, we are free to choose...then, some may say, but then we have to pay if we do not choose "correctly"/what he told us to do & face the consequences for our sins...Yes, but at least we still can choose. There is nothing like doing something and not having your heart in it--umm.
And why do they capitalize "Agreement"? Why? Is it a person? Like, 'do you agree with AT&T?' That rhymes!!! "Down with O,P,P?" Isn't an agreement something that at least two entities/individuals have together? So who else agreed with the Agree-er? You did, if you want to keep their service, even if you did not agree, you still have to agree as if you've agreed. That is making me LOL, reminding me of when my sister & our friends were together and someone farted (me) & we were pointing at my sister and she said, 'Fine, I will just admit that I did it, even though it wasn't me that did it!'
Let freedom ring!
"What if I don't agree to these terms and conditions?" You have until October 1, 2008 to review the Agreement and decide whether or not you wish to continue your service with AT&T. If you continue with your AT&T services after that date, you will be deemed to have agreed to the terms and conditions contained in the Agreement. If you do not agree with all the terms and conditions of the enclosed Agreement, you must contact us at _____ not later that October 1, 2008, to disconnect your service(s).
So its like, if you don't want to go along with us, then you can go somewhere else/like, if you aren't with us, then you can just hit the road jack-as if there was anywhere else we can go. Maybe that is why it is called "Jack in the box", because he is feeling jacked up because he hit-the-road-jack and he had no where to go, so now he is in a (cardboard) box, all homeless.
LOL, they said, "If you do not agree with all the terms and conditions of the enclosed Agreement" LOL!!!!! HA!!! Does that even make sense? If you do not agree with the agreement. So funny, I am LOL!
Sounds a little like slavery: 'if you want to keep y/OUR service, then you are just going to have to agree with our=AT&T's agreement (that they made by themselves, for themselves)...It is not OUR agreement, but the agreement that AT&T said that we are to agree about.' If you want to keep your job, then you better just do as I say!
This is why when there is only one service & one company, ...is not a good thing. No Monopoly for me. Anti-greed, anti-big brother & anti-control, for me!!!
Variety & free-choice goes a long way. You know I have to tie it to God, because in my perspective and based on what the Bible says, He gives us free-will and free-choices to decide whether or not we want to live for him: No force, though He is not a force to reckon with, we are free to choose...then, some may say, but then we have to pay if we do not choose "correctly"/what he told us to do & face the consequences for our sins...Yes, but at least we still can choose. There is nothing like doing something and not having your heart in it--umm.
And why do they capitalize "Agreement"? Why? Is it a person? Like, 'do you agree with AT&T?' That rhymes!!! "Down with O,P,P?" Isn't an agreement something that at least two entities/individuals have together? So who else agreed with the Agree-er? You did, if you want to keep their service, even if you did not agree, you still have to agree as if you've agreed. That is making me LOL, reminding me of when my sister & our friends were together and someone farted (me) & we were pointing at my sister and she said, 'Fine, I will just admit that I did it, even though it wasn't me that did it!'
Let freedom ring!
Back in the loop/society
Dang! Where do I even start? We have all been under the weather all'a last week. Man!
LOL**I just now had to dig in the trash to find my blog notes--cause I have a lot to talk about & I did not want to forget and right when I was sitting down to write, I was like, 'where are my notes?' Trying to think about where to start? I am repeating myself now. Echo. Echo? Should I vent or should I break it down? Let me vent for a minute, then I will break it down.
I shouldn't even have to explain this! Hmm. Do people think we as a family are like twidelling our toes or something? or do people remember that we are just as busy as anyone else in LA? Because, we just got an email, I think on the 11th about a workshop at church from 12P-5P for this Saturday the 23rd and it was clear that my husband & I had plans already & then our family group at church had planned some fun date thing for that night...........
...Waaay before we learned of these things, we had already mapped out our original plans for this Saturday. So of course, someone asked what we were doing that made us not able to attend the IMPORTANT workshop?
What are we doing?
Hmmmm--If I had to explain or answer to you for asking me WHAT could we possibly be doing that prevents us both from attending this IMPORTANT workshop see below:
Dear______
Yes, it is totally a conflict in scheduling here. Wish we could go on the date...
Basically: multiple birthdays--we'll be having a birthday weekend: our youngest daughter's 1st birthday is next Monday, the 25th & I was originally going to have her birthday party on Sat. the 23rd--but some close friends of ours are having their son's 3rd birthday party (from 2P-6P)--he & our oldest daughter go to school together & we had already given our word that we would be there quite a long time ago. IN FACT/FYI: I have missed his birthday celebration for the past two years & I had given our friends my word that I would be there for sure this year.
But now, my husband & I decided that he will go to the workshop--I guess for the whole thing (poor thing--no one really knows how hard he works during the week & all he wanted to do was play soccer with his buddies from 9A-noon & rest before going to our friends' place for their son's birthday party (from 2P-6P)...& he had known about this date thing before me, but over a month ago, a good friend of mine invited us to her birthday party...So our original plan was to go to their place for the 3 year old's birthday party & then only me will go to our other friend's birthday party later that night--she had invited us a month ago but because (we have someone keeping the girls Friday night, because we are spending some time at another couple's place), & the double events, I will just put the kids down for bed, after the party & then just go on my own. So we for sure won't be able to make it to the date--these were commitments we made long before the announcement of the meeting. Our daughter's birthday party will be on Sunday, the 24th and on Monday the 25th as well.
& that is just the run down for Saturday--not even mentioning, Sunday morning going to church (& supposed to be teaching Sunday school class) & getting the girls home (for nap) & going back out to the park for her birthday party & then Monday having another (was to be) "small" party at our place!!!
NOW SHOULD I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL'A THAT? BUT I FEEL OBLIGATED TO EXPLAIN, BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING--AS IF PEOPLE DON'T MAKE PREVIOUS PLANS & ARE JUST SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH, SIPPING LEMONADE-SITTING IN A ROCKING CHAIR!
Stress (not to mention the hot weather) was how we all got whatever "bug" (ear-nose -throat challenges) in the first place. No one asked about that! Like 'how is your family doing health wise?' It is just, you need to be at this workshop. If only I could express my frustrations with church/American Christianity...huh!
I refuse to people-please and I refuse to live in OBLIGATION of having to explain myself & answer to someone, who obviously does not have a clue as to all we do.
Though, it felt good to at least put it out there.
Here is my email version:
Dear _____,
For most people, there is always something going on. So I feel the need to update you a little on the week (& last week we were under the weather due to the hot weather & also just going & going & no one really realizing that everyone thinks their event is an important event to have people attend).
So Friday, [hubby] & I are meeting with the X's at their place & will have child care for our time with them...Saturday (23rd) was originally going to be [youngest daughter's] birthday party, but some close friends of ours (we have known for many many years) are having their son's 3rd birthday party at their place from 3P-6P & we planned to attend the whole event long long ago (he & [oldest daughter] go to the same school together); in fact I missed his birthday two years in a row (b/c last year, I was almost about to give birth & the previous year, we were in the Virgin Islands)...Then a single [friend's] I am close to is having a birthday party later that night & I had plans to just go alone to that, since the girls will be tired & ready for bedtime after their friend's party. So, to do our morning plans, workshop/3rd birthday party, date & friend's party--would be too much. But we reworked our original plan & will have our morning routine, (& we only have one car) and then [hubby] will go to the workshop & I will take the girls to the birthday party (factoring the one car thing, [hubby] may drop us off early or get a ride), prepping at 2P & leaving for that shortly thereafter to make it there by 3P...& it is not something we could just do a hi & bye, due to the nature of our friendship... If we had no kids, it would be very simple to just pop here & there, but also child care is hard to come by & we already are using some other good friends of ours to watch the girls, while we meet with the [X's] the night before. Then Sunday is Kidspoint, home (before 1P) to hopefully have at least the baby to take a nap from 1P-3P & her birthday party starts at 3:30P at a park ..., but I obviously have to be there a little early to prep, but of course we only have one car!!! (I invited people who have kids our kids age out of respect for other people's time)...Then her 1st birthday is Monday & I am doing something "small" at our place, that actually turned big--with all our neighbors within our proximity invited (and our neighbor across the street/his wife just passed away yesterday, so we wanted to be able to encourage our neighbors & also, I invited the fire department to come--they were the ones that helped get me to the hospital & help me with the afterbirth process in the house & ambulance & I have been wanting to thank them/in addition to some of my family & close friends coming)...so you see that we just have a busy birthday normal weekend!
...so that is some of what is going on.
Just wanted to have you in the loop.
XO,
___________________
& had to comply>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Perhaps my friend will say after reading the "PC"/gentle version:
'You didn't really have to explain, I understand.'
LOL**I just now had to dig in the trash to find my blog notes--cause I have a lot to talk about & I did not want to forget and right when I was sitting down to write, I was like, 'where are my notes?' Trying to think about where to start? I am repeating myself now. Echo. Echo? Should I vent or should I break it down? Let me vent for a minute, then I will break it down.
I shouldn't even have to explain this! Hmm. Do people think we as a family are like twidelling our toes or something? or do people remember that we are just as busy as anyone else in LA? Because, we just got an email, I think on the 11th about a workshop at church from 12P-5P for this Saturday the 23rd and it was clear that my husband & I had plans already & then our family group at church had planned some fun date thing for that night...........
...Waaay before we learned of these things, we had already mapped out our original plans for this Saturday. So of course, someone asked what we were doing that made us not able to attend the IMPORTANT workshop?
What are we doing?
Hmmmm--If I had to explain or answer to you for asking me WHAT could we possibly be doing that prevents us both from attending this IMPORTANT workshop see below:
Dear______
Yes, it is totally a conflict in scheduling here. Wish we could go on the date...
Basically: multiple birthdays--we'll be having a birthday weekend: our youngest daughter's 1st birthday is next Monday, the 25th & I was originally going to have her birthday party on Sat. the 23rd--but some close friends of ours are having their son's 3rd birthday party (from 2P-6P)--he & our oldest daughter go to school together & we had already given our word that we would be there quite a long time ago. IN FACT/FYI: I have missed his birthday celebration for the past two years & I had given our friends my word that I would be there for sure this year.
But now, my husband & I decided that he will go to the workshop--I guess for the whole thing (poor thing--no one really knows how hard he works during the week & all he wanted to do was play soccer with his buddies from 9A-noon & rest before going to our friends' place for their son's birthday party (from 2P-6P)...& he had known about this date thing before me, but over a month ago, a good friend of mine invited us to her birthday party...So our original plan was to go to their place for the 3 year old's birthday party & then only me will go to our other friend's birthday party later that night--she had invited us a month ago but because (we have someone keeping the girls Friday night, because we are spending some time at another couple's place), & the double events, I will just put the kids down for bed, after the party & then just go on my own. So we for sure won't be able to make it to the date--these were commitments we made long before the announcement of the meeting. Our daughter's birthday party will be on Sunday, the 24th and on Monday the 25th as well.
& that is just the run down for Saturday--not even mentioning, Sunday morning going to church (& supposed to be teaching Sunday school class) & getting the girls home (for nap) & going back out to the park for her birthday party & then Monday having another (was to be) "small" party at our place!!!
NOW SHOULD I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL'A THAT? BUT I FEEL OBLIGATED TO EXPLAIN, BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING--AS IF PEOPLE DON'T MAKE PREVIOUS PLANS & ARE JUST SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH, SIPPING LEMONADE-SITTING IN A ROCKING CHAIR!
Stress (not to mention the hot weather) was how we all got whatever "bug" (ear-nose -throat challenges) in the first place. No one asked about that! Like 'how is your family doing health wise?' It is just, you need to be at this workshop. If only I could express my frustrations with church/American Christianity...huh!
I refuse to people-please and I refuse to live in OBLIGATION of having to explain myself & answer to someone, who obviously does not have a clue as to all we do.
Though, it felt good to at least put it out there.
Here is my email version:
Dear _____,
For most people, there is always something going on. So I feel the need to update you a little on the week (& last week we were under the weather due to the hot weather & also just going & going & no one really realizing that everyone thinks their event is an important event to have people attend).
So Friday, [hubby] & I are meeting with the X's at their place & will have child care for our time with them...Saturday (23rd) was originally going to be [youngest daughter's] birthday party, but some close friends of ours (we have known for many many years) are having their son's 3rd birthday party at their place from 3P-6P & we planned to attend the whole event long long ago (he & [oldest daughter] go to the same school together); in fact I missed his birthday two years in a row (b/c last year, I was almost about to give birth & the previous year, we were in the Virgin Islands)...Then a single [friend's] I am close to is having a birthday party later that night & I had plans to just go alone to that, since the girls will be tired & ready for bedtime after their friend's party. So, to do our morning plans, workshop/3rd birthday party, date & friend's party--would be too much. But we reworked our original plan & will have our morning routine, (& we only have one car) and then [hubby] will go to the workshop & I will take the girls to the birthday party (factoring the one car thing, [hubby] may drop us off early or get a ride), prepping at 2P & leaving for that shortly thereafter to make it there by 3P...& it is not something we could just do a hi & bye, due to the nature of our friendship... If we had no kids, it would be very simple to just pop here & there, but also child care is hard to come by & we already are using some other good friends of ours to watch the girls, while we meet with the [X's] the night before. Then Sunday is Kidspoint, home (before 1P) to hopefully have at least the baby to take a nap from 1P-3P & her birthday party starts at 3:30P at a park ..., but I obviously have to be there a little early to prep, but of course we only have one car!!! (I invited people who have kids our kids age out of respect for other people's time)...Then her 1st birthday is Monday & I am doing something "small" at our place, that actually turned big--with all our neighbors within our proximity invited (and our neighbor across the street/his wife just passed away yesterday, so we wanted to be able to encourage our neighbors & also, I invited the fire department to come--they were the ones that helped get me to the hospital & help me with the afterbirth process in the house & ambulance & I have been wanting to thank them/in addition to some of my family & close friends coming)...so you see that we just have a busy birthday normal weekend!
...so that is some of what is going on.
Just wanted to have you in the loop.
XO,
___________________
& had to comply>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Perhaps my friend will say after reading the "PC"/gentle version:
'You didn't really have to explain, I understand.'
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
This day
Dang, I almost forgot my password & it is past my bedtime. This is a special symbolic day (though was a tough day disciplining my oldest daughter...huh!): Today is the 10 year anniversary of when my husband & I first started dating, on 8/8/98...He asked me on the campus of Caltech (after he was hiding behind a bush & some friends brought me to the spot & vanished--LOL!)...It was a huge transition for me, because we had been close friends for two years and when I met him, I was coming out of a serious relationship and did not want to give my heart again and I even had fears of breaking up. So it blocked my heart from really embracing love the way it should be received and given. We dated a year and a half and then broke up...it took two years thereafter til we got back together (& there never seemed to be a gurantee that we WOULD get back together, so that was tough, because after we broke up was when I truly saw how precious and incredible he was to me)...Our story is a beautiful one and I hope to be able to fully elaborate on it someday. But here we are 12 years later and the years ahead will be stronger and fuller and more whole and loving! Happy Anniversary Babe!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
No more egg-headed ways
This morning, I was rushing to peel the boiled eggs and the skin was coming off with the shell--ugh! Not it, its like where's the beef? The meat shouldn't be sticking to the "skin-shell" like that... No no no!
Speaking of breakfast, here is how they say to make the perfect hard-boiled eggs:
Place on burner on HIGH heat. Once they start to boil turn on the timer to 3 minutes.
HERE's a good one too:
To make hard boiled eggs, here's the secret: Don't boil them. The "perfect" hard boiled egg (tender white, semi-solid yolk) can be reliably cooked by keeping the egg at 65°C or 149°F (well below the boiling point of water) for 6 hours or more[1][2] but most people don't have that kind of time and patience. Here's a fool-proof, reliable way to hard boil eggs.
There's nothing like being in a rush to feed your hungry children. Never again. I am actually starting a new regimen as of tomorrow, 8/8/08: I will get up at 5A and get dressed, have fellowship time with God--reading His word and praying...maybe water the plants or do a lite exercise/stretch from 6-6:25A... I will wake the kids up at 6:30A and by 7A they will eat and I will eat with them (their food all on the plate at one time & not individually), I am also going to help my youngest daughter with her eating, because she makes a big mess trying to feed herself--thought she prefers to self-feed. If this breakfast regimen does not work, I will start eating before everyone else, so that I am not feeling famished. (And by 8A, we'll be ready to go...I plan to bathe them once--not twice--after they eat, but I will change their diapers before they eat & I will wash their hands and faces). Check back with me in 3 weeks or so.
Speaking of breakfast, here is how they say to make the perfect hard-boiled eggs:
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
Tips & Warnings:
- Easy to remember, 3 minute boil, 8 minute covered.
- Once you crack the egg, roll it around a bit, it makes it way easy to peel.
- They could be addictive!
Things You'll Need:
- Eggs
- Timer
- Water
- Saucepan with tight fitted lid
- Fire
Step by Step:
Step 1
Place eggs in the saucepan, it does not matter if it is 2 or 12 eggs, this way works. Just cover them with cold water, not too deep. Do NOT salt the water. Place on burner on HIGH heat.Step 2
Place on burner on HIGH heat. Once they start to boil turn on the timer to 3 minutes.Step 3
When the timer goes off, quickly take off the heat, put on the lid and reset the timer to 8 minutes.Step 4
When 8 minutes are up, take to sink and run cold water over them for about a minute, let them soak a bit to cool off. They will peel best if you set them in the refrigerator for about 1/2 to 1 hour, but you can eat them now!Step 5
Never have green or gray yolks again!HERE's a good one too:
How to Hard Boil an Egg
Steps
- Lay the eggs gently in an empty pot.Some sources recommend making a shallow hole with a pin at the flatter end so that it'll let the expanding air escape thus reducing the chance of cracking[3] but studies have shown this isn't a reliable technique.[4] Adding salt or vinegar to the water, however, may help the proteins in the white coagulate faster so any cracks in the shell quickly get plugged.[5]
- Fill the pot with enough cold tap water to completely cover eggs with about 1 inch or 3 cm of water over them. If the water is cold, the eggs will take longer to cook. If the water is hot, though, you may risk the water getting too hot and overcooking the eggs. Put on a lid.
- Add enough salt to make the water taste salty. This will make the eggs easy to peel later.
- Bring the water to the point of boiling, over high heat, then immediately remove from heat.Don't remove the lid so that the water doesn't cool off too quickly. You want it to hover at a temperature close to but below boiling. Leave the eggs in the hot water for 25 minutes. Time the 25 minutes from when the water starts boiling. If you set the timer before that, you will end up with soft-boiled eggs. And if you set it too late or let the eggs linger at boiling temperature, the yolks will turn a slight greenish color and begin to smell like sulfur.
- Stop the cooking process. Chill the eggs by placing them under cold running water or in a bowl of ice water. Let them sit for a few minutes until the egg is completely cooled.
- Peel the eggs when they're cool enough to handle. It's easier to peel under cold running water.
- Eat and enjoy!
Tips
- To ensure your egg is hardboiled, when it is cooled off, spin it on a hard surface like a top, and if it spins quickly without flying off in one direction, the egg is finished. Undercooked or uncooked eggs will have a wobbly, unsteady spin and will spiral off to one side.
- Fresh eggs are less prone to cracking but more difficult to peel. Eggs which have been refrigerated for several days have higher pH and are more likely to crack, but they're easier to peel. If you have fresh eggs, you can add a teaspoon of baking soda to a quart of water when cooking (but it might make the eggs taste slightly more sulfuric) or just cook them a little longer and allow the white to firm up in fridge before peeling. If you're going to be cutting the boiled eggs in half, you might want to use the freshest eggs you can find, since they tend to have a more centered yolk and less likelihood of greening.[6]
- Don't forget to add salt to the boiling water. If you do the eggs will be very easy to peel.
Warnings
- If you keep the eggs at boiling temperature, you risk overcooking the eggs, which over coagulates the proteins (resulting in rubbery whites and dry yolks) and generates hydrogen sulfide in the egg.[7]
- Be careful that you do not burn yourself with the hot water or the eggs.
- Using too much vinegar will cause your eggs to smell bad and taste like vinegar.
- Using a microwave without an egg cooker designed for use in a microwave will cause the eggs to explode.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Target'd
Forgot to add that I heard "If it isn't love" by New Edition today. That was the first time the girls heard it--we were in the car, getting ready to go into Target. Man, that was my jam! Before you know it, I am gonna have a whole iTune playlist going on the sidebar of my blog!
Anyway, so after meeting a really nice woman & her 9 year old and 7 year old daughters, and finishing my shopping experience; which of course entailed my oldest daughter pushing the button...we always do that...she likes it when we go to the elevator and push the button and we also say it in Japanese: "Boton o oshite kudasai". When we first walked into the store, she targeted a pink headband with hearts on it, in the dollar section. She liked putting it around her tummy--like a belt. I forgot she was wearing it down there after I paid for my selected items. I had a ten dollar bill and did not want to break it, but I knew I needed to pay for it because 1) if I put it back, there would be a huge commotion and she was being very cooperative and 2) I did want to reward her for being cooperative with mommy--which goes a long way. So, I went back to another cashier I am cool with, to pay for it. I gave the cashier the ten first & told the cashier I had 8 cents too (it was $1.08) and the thing said it owed me $8.92--that was before it became $9.00 in change...The cashier gave me back 2 fives and a one dollar bill. Did the cashier do that to test me? I mean, the cashier saw me almost accidentally leaving the store realizing and confessing that I forgot it was there and planned to pay for it. Did the cashier want to really see if I was for real? That just seemed too strange. For someone who has been at Target that long, I would think the cashier knows how to manage the register. No offense, it just seemed bazaar. I know I stress over money sometimes, but giving me back more money--what was the point?--just did not really help. Trust me, once I make a decision, I am just as firm (and my conscious is loud anyway). Just to put it out there too, I did not buy the headband for my daughter because I did not want to hear her scream. I rewarded her for her good behavior in the store--not that I always reward her...Me being a parent really seems to reinforce my "good behavior" and the example I am setting. I know that she might be whatever she sees me being. I hope she won't be the opposite and I would love it if she became even more than me, in the sense of being an upright individual. There is nothing like hypocrisy in the sense that tonight I read her the Bible on Jesus being born. Am I just being a resounding gong? Does she really believe that Mommy loves Jesus? or is it coming across like I am trying to instill something that I am not fully living out (i.e., Jesus' lordship in my life)? So I am the target after all. My life should overflow--should be an outpouring of great things onto my girls. Like Mother like daughter. Got some work to do to be authentic--tried and true.
Anyway, so after meeting a really nice woman & her 9 year old and 7 year old daughters, and finishing my shopping experience; which of course entailed my oldest daughter pushing the button...we always do that...she likes it when we go to the elevator and push the button and we also say it in Japanese: "Boton o oshite kudasai". When we first walked into the store, she targeted a pink headband with hearts on it, in the dollar section. She liked putting it around her tummy--like a belt. I forgot she was wearing it down there after I paid for my selected items. I had a ten dollar bill and did not want to break it, but I knew I needed to pay for it because 1) if I put it back, there would be a huge commotion and she was being very cooperative and 2) I did want to reward her for being cooperative with mommy--which goes a long way. So, I went back to another cashier I am cool with, to pay for it. I gave the cashier the ten first & told the cashier I had 8 cents too (it was $1.08) and the thing said it owed me $8.92--that was before it became $9.00 in change...The cashier gave me back 2 fives and a one dollar bill. Did the cashier do that to test me? I mean, the cashier saw me almost accidentally leaving the store realizing and confessing that I forgot it was there and planned to pay for it. Did the cashier want to really see if I was for real? That just seemed too strange. For someone who has been at Target that long, I would think the cashier knows how to manage the register. No offense, it just seemed bazaar. I know I stress over money sometimes, but giving me back more money--what was the point?--just did not really help. Trust me, once I make a decision, I am just as firm (and my conscious is loud anyway). Just to put it out there too, I did not buy the headband for my daughter because I did not want to hear her scream. I rewarded her for her good behavior in the store--not that I always reward her...Me being a parent really seems to reinforce my "good behavior" and the example I am setting. I know that she might be whatever she sees me being. I hope she won't be the opposite and I would love it if she became even more than me, in the sense of being an upright individual. There is nothing like hypocrisy in the sense that tonight I read her the Bible on Jesus being born. Am I just being a resounding gong? Does she really believe that Mommy loves Jesus? or is it coming across like I am trying to instill something that I am not fully living out (i.e., Jesus' lordship in my life)? So I am the target after all. My life should overflow--should be an outpouring of great things onto my girls. Like Mother like daughter. Got some work to do to be authentic--tried and true.
805
In the spirit of it being 8/05/08: I happened to recently remember that my husband & I ate at a restaurant in London four years ago, called "805". Whatever I had, was incredible and I am tempted to say that that is one of my favorite restaurants--and it is. But, perhaps that is not fair because I just ate there once and I was hungry and we had a 3 day layover in London; on our way to Nigeria. Still, my experience there was a joyous one. So here's to the "inspirational one" who took us there...a big thanks! I love it when I have happy memories while dining out--that was one of them.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Mothers at your service and Ministers' service
Yesterday, when the minister said that time is a precious commodity and that that was the case--even for him, I thought, 'wow, sahms can actually relate to some ministers then!' Because even for me, when he said that, I always assume that yeah, they have appointments but on a whole, they have a lot of time on their hands. Many non-sahms (especially singles), cannot relate to the schedule that particularly mothers of two kids (or more) have. Some of my single friends think I have all this time, just because I am not currently "working" a job-job. That is so far from the case. Literally, as soon as I wake up, my time is barely my own: I am "serving" from the time I get up, til the time my girls go to bed. I cuddle with them once they wake up, change their diapers, feed them, bathe them, dress them, etc; If we go out, I am either taking them to play/on a playdate or run errands for the house (like the errands I did not get to today, but hope to tomorrow: 99Cent store to get some items for packaging, drop off clothes to salvation army, go to Trader Joe's because my husband requested a specific olive oil and a specific kind of tea, go to Whole Foods to get the baby's diapers & some vitamins for me & that granola my husband likes to snack on at work, go to the post office, etc;)...I tried to put my youngest daughter down for nap...but I have not been consistent with her sleep schedule--so it took me over an hour to put her down. And with my oldest, it took me several hours of trying to get her to take a nap in her room; she does a poop in her diaper & then I have to change her again. She plays & sings & does everything but sleep. So today, she did not take a nap & I brought her out of her room around 2Pish to eat lunch. I spent from 12P-2P trying to get her to nap & in the interim, I moped the whole floor again, because there was all this sticky ovaltine on the floor & dirt & I had just mopped on the day before yesterday. Then the baby woke up after 3P, fed her, changed them both...by the time we left the house, it was 4:30P. I just went to the UPS store to mail some things for my father n law & the baby's birthday invitations I had to color copy to make more copies...by then, it was time to pick up Daddy from work, come home, warm up the food & have dinner together & bathe them, clothe them, pray with them and help them go to sleep. I took a shower around 8:15P & got dressed, washed the rest of the dishes, put the dirty clothes away & came to sit down here at 9P. My goal is to start going to bed by 9:30P. So how much time did I get for myself? Anyway, when the minister said he doesn't have a lot of time, I responded in my head with a little state of shock. I just assume that they have a lot of time & I wonder why I don't "see" them being more evangelistic with all their free time. Boy, what a wake up call. Because it suddenly dawned on me that their schedules are just as busy as mine--serving others--and also, how about my level of evangelism and serving others? Other than my own family? He mentioned making that a priority in my schedule & it is true, you can "always" make time for what is important to you. Though I have described what I do in a day as a sahm, that is not the full description & no matter what I write, unless you are a sahm or have recently been a sahm or a mom with more than two kids, you may not be able to relate or sympathize with what I go through on any given day. Some dads who see what their wives do as mothers--whether a sahm or "working" mom (wm), those dads can relate. That is what I love about some of my friend's husbands & my husband too--is that they KNOW! Can I get some empathy here? No sweat about what I do (though I often am working so hard, I do sweat). Just it is agitating when you sense that you are unappreciated and judged inaccurately. Huh. But now I see Mr. Minister. I can only imagine what you do and I just hope that you are finding time to do whatever you need to do to start your day off on the right(eous) foot. Cause with the busyness of life, it is amazing how our priorities get scattered. That is my goal, to be disciplined & through that, I will see more power, love & glory to God in the way I live.
Good night
Good night
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Blog Blog Blog
At first, I was gonna write, "Blah, Blah, Blah" and that's all. But then, "I don't care anymore", by Phil Collins and "I want somebody" by Heavy D...those songs were in my head.
Huh! I am slightly frustrated right now: Trying to put the girls down for bed has been a real challenge. And today my oldest daughter threw a big tantrum...I am kaput! Even now, while I am writing, she is waking up & fussing--but it is 11:15P! I am really wanting to have more structure time wise, with nap times back on track, etc; I really want my husband & I to be on the same page with the discipline thing too. Since I am mostly with the girls, a lot falls on me. Huh! This is a lot of work & people who don't have kids don't seem to understand. I appreciate relatability and understanding from those who have been there. (She went back to sleep). I love my daughters so much and want the best for them. That is my prayer, just for them to grow up to have obedient & loving hearts...I know they won't be perfect, but as long as they revere/honor/love God and obey their parents, I know it will go well for them. I understand more of God's nature as a parent now, because when I ask my oldest daughter to do something & she doesn't want to do it, my heart is pained because I am instructing her for her own good & when she chooses to turn the other way...man! Like today, she went outside without shoes on & I was calling her in so I can put on her shoes & she wouldn't even follow that...everything I ask her to do is for her own benefit; never would I ask her to do something that would harm her in anyway. God is the same.
Jeremiah 29:11-
Huh! I am slightly frustrated right now: Trying to put the girls down for bed has been a real challenge. And today my oldest daughter threw a big tantrum...I am kaput! Even now, while I am writing, she is waking up & fussing--but it is 11:15P! I am really wanting to have more structure time wise, with nap times back on track, etc; I really want my husband & I to be on the same page with the discipline thing too. Since I am mostly with the girls, a lot falls on me. Huh! This is a lot of work & people who don't have kids don't seem to understand. I appreciate relatability and understanding from those who have been there. (She went back to sleep). I love my daughters so much and want the best for them. That is my prayer, just for them to grow up to have obedient & loving hearts...I know they won't be perfect, but as long as they revere/honor/love God and obey their parents, I know it will go well for them. I understand more of God's nature as a parent now, because when I ask my oldest daughter to do something & she doesn't want to do it, my heart is pained because I am instructing her for her own good & when she chooses to turn the other way...man! Like today, she went outside without shoes on & I was calling her in so I can put on her shoes & she wouldn't even follow that...everything I ask her to do is for her own benefit; never would I ask her to do something that would harm her in anyway. God is the same.
Jeremiah 29:11-
Friday, August 1, 2008
Wind beneath my wings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aClNsGhgZQ
Man, when I heard this song this morning, I was loving it! This song was so bomb--was it 1986? Well, anyway, this is going to be one of my theme songs. My morning pick me up. The other one is that "don't give up" song. So that one is my tail wind (booster to lift me up when I need some motivation) and then the Mandolin rain song will be the wind beneath my wings--I think I just like the piano & beats & the instrumental to this song. But, I also like how he puts his whole self into singing whatever he is singing about. Okay, so I just pulled up the lyrics, because I was like, 'what is he talking about?' Some people sing songs and its like, 'what are you saying?' That reminds me of the time when Arsenio Hall said his mom didn't even know the proper lyrics to "Controversy" by Prince; that she would sing, "Count your blessings". I guess people have their own interpretation for the songs they sing. WOW, I was right--it was 1986 (I just checked)...isn't that something? How when you hear a song, you can pinpoint the time? I was thinking back to 6th grade & thinking that I first heard this song then...I'll be coming back to this song in my blogs from time to time. This'll be like a thing I do, trying to figure out what the heck he is sanging about--or what it meant to him when he wrote it.
Step with me:
Mandolin rain
B. r. hornsby/john hornsby
The song came and went
Like the times that we spent
Hiding out from the rain under the carnival tent
I laughed and she'd smile
It would last for awhile
You don't know what you got till you lose it all again
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
A cool evening dance
Listening to the bluegrass band takes the chill
From the air till they play the last song
Ill do my time
Keeping you off my mind but theres moments
That I find, I'm not feeling so strong
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
Running down by the lakeshore
She did love the sound of a summer storm
It played on the lake like a mandolin
Now its washing her away again
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
The boats steaming in
I watch the sidewheel spin and i
Think about her when I hear that whistle blow
I cant change my mind
I knew all the time that shed go
But thats a choice I made long ago
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
Man, when I heard this song this morning, I was loving it! This song was so bomb--was it 1986? Well, anyway, this is going to be one of my theme songs. My morning pick me up. The other one is that "don't give up" song. So that one is my tail wind (booster to lift me up when I need some motivation) and then the Mandolin rain song will be the wind beneath my wings--I think I just like the piano & beats & the instrumental to this song. But, I also like how he puts his whole self into singing whatever he is singing about. Okay, so I just pulled up the lyrics, because I was like, 'what is he talking about?' Some people sing songs and its like, 'what are you saying?' That reminds me of the time when Arsenio Hall said his mom didn't even know the proper lyrics to "Controversy" by Prince; that she would sing, "Count your blessings". I guess people have their own interpretation for the songs they sing. WOW, I was right--it was 1986 (I just checked)...isn't that something? How when you hear a song, you can pinpoint the time? I was thinking back to 6th grade & thinking that I first heard this song then...I'll be coming back to this song in my blogs from time to time. This'll be like a thing I do, trying to figure out what the heck he is sanging about--or what it meant to him when he wrote it.
Step with me:
Mandolin rain
B. r. hornsby/john hornsby
The song came and went
Like the times that we spent
Hiding out from the rain under the carnival tent
I laughed and she'd smile
It would last for awhile
You don't know what you got till you lose it all again
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
A cool evening dance
Listening to the bluegrass band takes the chill
From the air till they play the last song
Ill do my time
Keeping you off my mind but theres moments
That I find, I'm not feeling so strong
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
Running down by the lakeshore
She did love the sound of a summer storm
It played on the lake like a mandolin
Now its washing her away again
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
The boats steaming in
I watch the sidewheel spin and i
Think about her when I hear that whistle blow
I cant change my mind
I knew all the time that shed go
But thats a choice I made long ago
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Absolutely blank
There was all this stuff on my mind earlier & now I am completely blank--lemme think it over and get back. Hmm, it'll come back to me. Actually, my hubby needs the computer now anyway, so I am fighting for time. Over and out.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The Bistro to "B" @
Okay, food is what breaks the writer's block. My husband found another great French restaurant, Bistro du Soleil, in Playa del Rey. How do you say, "WOW!" in French? I had the poulet reni and it was TO DIE FOR! My meal actually motivated me to do a write up--a big deal, since I have been struggling with writer's block for a long long time. The poulet reni is a lightly breaded chicken breast in a cream and brandy sauce with mushrooms. I had it with vegetables (carrots) and rice. The carrots were very farmer's market fresh and all the herbs that topped my dish enhanced my palate. I felt as if I were back in Toulousse. The only downside to our dining experience there (other than the non-impressive ambiance) was that my husband and I were let down by the bread that pre-came with our dinner. They need to take some bakery notes from The Kitchen in Pasadena. The Kitchen also makes homemade bread, but their bread is luscious--you could literally live offa that bread. Putting the ambiance and bread aside, I hope we frequent Bistro du Soleil. The meal I had was THEE absolute best meal I have had dining out. I am going to find it hard to try the other dishes, because the poulet reni was so so sensational. My husband offered me a sample of his lemon salmon, which melted in my mouth. But it will still be hard to branch out from my breaded and creamy alcoholic (a touch of brandy) chicken breast. We will be sticking with French cuisine--if I have any say in the matter. And while I am on the subject of France, the other French restaurants we have enjoyed are:
Creme de la Crepe, Hermosa Beach...where we go for a mâche-style breakfast
Bistro de la Gare, South Pasadena...where we went once recently for a real deal romantic meal; candlelite!!!
??? Paris/Southern France - Babe? Hon? (Hey, I am trying to figure out a way to get us back there).
Bon Appétit!
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